How to Get Anxious Kids to Sleep?

If you find your child is struggling to fall asleep at bedtime and persistently asks you to stay in the room till they do, many other parents are going through the same. If your child is between the ages of 5 to 12 years old, anxiety tends to be the common thread. You're not alone - an increasing number of families are seeing bedtime anxiety which creates bedtime stressful bedtimes instead of a gentle transition to sleep.

Fortunately, there are gentle ways that can effectively help your child feel reassured, empowered, calm, and independent before going to bed at night.

5 Practical, parent-approved strategies to help an anxious child get to sleep

1. Establish a Calming Bedtime Routine that You Can Consistently Follow

Something done habitually enables children to secure and in control. When bedtime flows in a familiar pattern, it sends a signal to your child's brain the onset of sleep is approaching and helps to calm and fears or anxiety that often sprouts when things are unpredictable.

Gives this a try:

• Warm bath or shower

• Change into pyjamas, brush teeth

• Calming activity without screens (reading books, puzzles, colouring etc.)

• 5-minute chat or gratitude journal writing (“3 things I liked about today.”)

• 1-minute goodnight (tight hug and a kiss, etc)

🔥Hot Tip: Kids love checking things off a list. Think about creating a fun visual checklist so our child can feel in control and follow along themselves.

2. Setup a “Worry Box” to Provide a Space for Anxious Thoughts

If your child's mind starts racing when they're just climbing into bed, If your child’s mind starts spinning the moment their head hits the pillow, house those thoughts in a place, other than their head! Let your child draw or write their worries, then place it in small box with a label, "Worry Box." This box can be explained as a safehouse for their worries overnight.

By writing or drawing out their thoughts, this easy ritual prevents children internalizing their fears and anxiety, reducing their overwhelm as they lay down waiting for sleep to come.

3. Try “Box Breathing” to Help Relax

Box breathing is a simple yet transformative exercise often utilized by therapists, athletes and even Navy SEALs. It can help if you have your child trace a square with their finger as they breathe. Here's the basic steps.

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Exhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Repeat 4–6 times while lying in bed.

4. Provide Open, Reassuring Conversations at Bedtime

With the onset of bedtime, the mind begins to zero in on the day's stresses and worries. There's less distractions and activities to keep these feelings at bay and if these emotions don't have a place to go, it makes for an uneasy bedtime. Preteens, in particular, would benefit from a 10 minute check-in where they can simply offload what is on their mind. This should be a time void of judgment or corrective discussions so their mind can be put at ease.

Try asking your child reflective questions such as:

• “Was there something that felt confusing or difficult today?”

• “Is there something on your mind that you want to chat about before sleeping?”

• “Was there anything that made you curious today?"

🔥 Hot Tip: Being calm and present and willing to simply listen can be more impactful and positive than finding a resolution.

5. Utilize Guided Meditations

If your child's mind has trouble slowing down, a great way to calm the mind is to focus on something soothing. A guided meditation that can take your mind on a journey helps to redirect anxious thoughts and encourages the brain and body to settle. Visuals like floating on a soft cloud, entering into a magical forest or cozying up with cute fury animals in a treehouse can transport your child's mind away from their worries. There are countless Spotify meditations you can try for free that have a similar focus in mind.

🔥Hot Tip: meditations with strong visuals stimulates imagination in a positive way, which can counter nagging concerns and soothe the body into sleep.

How to get anxious kids to sleep isn't so much eliminating your child's every fear, but it's about equipping them with the tools and environment to handle their feelings. Supporting your child to feel safe enough to go to sleep can create a positive association with bedtime. When your child's bedtime becomes a special time of loving connection, everyone will rest much better. If you need more customized help with your child's sleep I offer a FREE 15-minute sleep assessment.